About Me

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I'm a reader who enjoys posting comments and recommendations about the books I read. You will not find a synopsis with my recommendations because you can just click on the book title for a link to www.goodreads.com for a synopsis and reviews by other readers. I prefer the 3 Reason format: the reason I chose to read it; the reason I liked (or disliked) the book; and the reason I recommend it.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Thanksgiving Celebrations

We spent Thanksgiving at the home of Son, Daughter-in-Law and Grandson. Mother of Daughter-inLaw baked a fresh turkey that had been marinated in a Jack Daniels brew. Daughter brought cheese ball for appetizers. D-i-L and Daughter helped with all the preparation of side dishes. I brought a squash casserole for the yellow vegetable. After dinner, Aunt Carolyn and Uncle Cecil stopped by for coffee and apple tart.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Rembrandt exhibit

Brother E, his daughter L and I visit the Dayton Art Institute to see the Rembrandt exhibit together. He claims forty years elapsed since the last time he and I visited DAI together. We talk about the bits of memory of that event. E remembers that it was to see King Tut exhibit. I remember that the group was from our Sunday school classes. A link existed between Sunday school teachings and a pharaoh in Egypt’s history. This pharaoh believed in One God and tried to change religion and culture during his reign.
Brother E remembers I bought a brown beetle that day.
“I still have a scarab bracelet. I don’t remember what you bought.”
He speculates, “Maybe the reason neither of us remembers what I bought is nothing was bought for me; maybe only the princess got what she wanted.”

I don’t know what to say to that: he continues to bewilder me when he relives his hurt feelings with every retelling of stories about our childhood. More than forty years elapsed and he sticks us in stories where the characters are no older than 11 and 15. He remains the juvenile victim of the evil princess. Neither he nor the former princess can free him from the emotional tension of the story’s plot because we cannot remember a souvenir.

The paintings on the walls are metaphoric portrayals of anger, jealousy, resentment and disappointment. Art may last 40 or 400 years or even 4000 years. Humans may commission and buy paintings and etchings; but art is not the only metaphoric portrayals of emotions that people buy into.

Now, at the ages of 51 and 55, we try to be more mature observers of the art. E tells stories about how etching was part of his previous job history. E cannot repeat that employment: that business is closed and its building is shuttered. That story is history. E brings up a statement he heard on talk radio: we already lived through our country’s best times, and the best times can’t be repeated because so much changed. He leaves the statement for me to respond to it. He waits to see if I share his worries.

“If we are only talking about employment possibilities for the self-employed or for blue-collar workers in local manufacturing industries, I might agree. Times and markets are different.” Know-It-All-Big Sister wants to roll her eyes and almost tells him to stop listening to talk radio if he imagines opinions to be assumption-worthy truths. I stifle that role. My thought continues, “If the subject is personal lives and individual futures, I disagree. If we do not stay stuck in roles that we outgrew, I believe the best may be right here; right now.”

Mistakes made in the process of etching are likely to show with every printing. When we notice that times are different, we edit stories and tell a better ending. I want to leave Brother E’s childhood stories to echo among the etchings. This time, I want this story to end, “We enjoyed each other’s company.”

Friday, November 10, 2006

Acceptable Lies

The age was wrong on Niece D’s birthday card. I incorrectly transferred the information from 2005 calendar to 2006 calendar. An incorrect age is not difficult to believe in a family where lying about our ages is acceptable. Our matriarch has been claiming to be 29 for so many years that her grandson is currently the same age. The patriarch of our clan claims to be ‘damn near’ whatever his next birthday will be. I mimicked Dad’s habit of claiming to be ‘damn near 55’ for seventeen months when I began early retirement.

Our family has a conflict between, “Don’t lie” and exceptions to that rule. We were often punished severely for lying or withholding information. We were often punished for telling the truth to people outside the family, especially when those outside the family did not need to know our business. Beliefs about acceptable lying had to be as flexible as a judicial ruling that selects punishment. Beliefs about withholding information are even more flexible. We learn to accept the pretense that 29 will last for more than forty-six years, and we accept that time is fluid enough its estimate for schedule completion will fit into everybody’s schedule. An example of that is the date of these blog entries: I edit the dates to show when I start the essay and not when I finish it. How many other pretenses are acceptable?

Our unexpressed emotional feelings are often a pretense. We try on different roles in stories as we learn acceptable interpretations about events and memories. We learn to use “Fine” until a better interpretation fits the experience. “Fine,” may also be code for “Just you wait until my side is told.”

Incomplete medical information sometimes looks like a lie when it is not. Its incompleteness and unknowable quality does not stop some family members for acting as if they are being lied to or not told the whole story. Fear they are being told lies triggers emotionally manipulative behavior that aggressively damages relationships.

That brings us to the lie that we will be forgiven and our mistakes forgotten. Why forget a mistake when it can become an instructional story to be used to teach others to fear the mistake and inflict punishment on the perpetrator again? Even if you learned your lesson, your mistakes is now an object lesson.

I retain the information that Niece D had a thirteen birthday. I marked a mistaken 13th birthday on the 2006 calendar. On the 2007 calendar I will note the year of her birth

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Energy Efficient Mortgages

http://www.nwf.org/nationalwildlife/article.cfm?issueID=110&articleID=1395

Many of you have careers in real estate, construction, rental properties, and moving into new homes. This URL will take you to an article about mortgages that may include extra funds for energy efficient updates or new construction. I hope this is information that you find useful.

Friday, November 03, 2006

News from my friend Barb

Barb writes: Ron and I spent part of last week with [their daughter] Jenny. We went up to Chicago for a day and visited Shedd aquarium and Navy Pier. It was overcast and windy that day so we didn't spend a lot of time outside. I guess we need to go back when the weather is better. Ron and I had never been to downtown Chicago - just the suburbs when Jenny was bowling in college.
We had several inches of snow overnight - lake effect. We've had flurries several times already but this was the first accumulation. We've had the furnace guy and the fireplace guy out this week getting ready for winter.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Reports from Halloween News from Christy

Host and I had more beggars than usual on Halloween so the last ten kids got packs of cheddar cheese snack crackers instead of candy. I bought more than enough candy but I bought it too early. I snacked on too much of it before Beggars' Night.

Christy writes:
We didn't near the amount of beggars we had last year. Last year we had about 49; this year, it was only 15. Tonight [Nov 1] is the home play-off game forM-U [ the school district that employs Christy]. I won't be going to the game. In the morning [as part of her job with her county juvenile services], I will supervise 2 juveniles for cleanup of the stands for their community service. It will probably be cold then too.
[Her] Dad is leaving Florida tomorrow and heading back home. [Christy's uncle] Paul is just unable to keep going back and forth anymore. [Christy's]Aunt Bonnie and Uncle Paul have put their place up for sale. They went down and cleaned their place out. Dad and Uncle Bob put in cabinets and did other things for Bob's youngest daughter Brenda.

Uncle Cecil recuperates from surgery

Uncle Cecil had cataract surgery.
Aunt Carolyn writes:Thanks for Uncle Cecil's get-well card. He is doing fine. He can't play tennis yet and is going stir-crazy, but other than that OK. He is anxious to get new glasses.
We only had three and a half Trick or Treaters last night. The half was a very young one that a grandpa was carrying. They wouldn't let him have a treat, so Grandpa took one instead. He said the young one was "in training" for next year. His older brother was with them (2 years old). Those with our two neighbor children that live behind us were all we had. Fortunately, I hadn't bought a lot of stuff. It was a miserable night.
We worked in the yard today through rain, sleet, etc. We were warmly dressed and had on hoods. Cec mulched the leaves with the lawn mower. Sure beats raking.